Raphael's Self Loathing
by Baz The Storyteller
Summary: Raphael is up at his secret place, hating himself for being a turtle. April decides to visit him and give him a heart to heart.


RAPHAEL'S SELF LOATHING

One night, Raphael was standing on the roof of a very large building. This was his secret place. Anytime Raphael felt angry or depressed, he would come here. As we all know, Raphael is ashamed about being a turtle. He looked at the crowd of people walking down below. Angry at them. Hating them. And envying them.

April knew about Raphael's place and she decided to visit him that night. "Hey, Raphael." she said. "Hey." said Raphael. "What are you thinking of?" asked April. "I look down at all these people and I keep asking myself the same question every day: Why am I not like them? Why am I not human?" said Raphael. "April, you have no idea how lucky you are." "Lucky? You wanna talk about being lucky?" said April. "My boss is a real jerk and most of my co-workers are jerks. At least _you_ have your own privacy. You have your own place to live, you don't need a job to pay bills and you and your brothers have great martial arts skills."

"At least you're human." said Raphael. "Being a human isn't all fun and games." said April. "Well, would _you_ like to be a turtle?" said Raphael. "I wouldn't mind. Raphael." said April. "It's not _what_ you are, it's who you are. Not matter what species you are, you're always going to have problems. No-one is ever truly happy 24-7. And if you get rid of one problem, you're going to have another."

"At least _you_ can fit into society." said Raphael. "I can't reveal myself to the public." "Humans don't really fit into society." said April. "I didn't fit in at school. I was really shy and all the popular kids at my school were jerks. Take it from me, Raphael; you wanna fit into society, you have to be a _real_ jerk."

"How do your brothers deal with being turtles?" she asked. "They take it quite well." said Raphael. "That's another thing that bothers me." "What?" asked April. "Why aren't they ashamed about being turtles?" asked Raphael. "They've just accepted themselves for who they are and know that they will never change. You should too." said April. "In fact, they quite like being turtles. Why else do you think Michaelangelo keeps saying 'I love being a turtle'?"

"Yeah, Michaelangelo is always happy." said Raphael. "I wish I was happy like him." "He just thinks positivity." said April. "If you're depressed and keep telling yourself 'I'm depressed. I'm depressed. I can't do anything right.' all the time, you will make yourself even more depressed and even worse, you'll start like being depressed and you'll want everyone to feel sorry for you all the time. You don't want to be like that, do you Raphael?"

"No." he said. "How do you know all this?" "When I was a teenager, I didn't fit in at all. I didn't have that many friends and I kept thinking that the whole world hated me." said April. "I was depressed and I kept putting myself down. I kept wanting bad things to happen to me because I thought 'If I'm not around, no-one would care that I'm gone.' But when bad things _did _happen, I quickly regretted wishing for them." "Be careful what you wish for." said Raphael. "Indeed." said April. "But those bad things I had wished for made me learn how to keep a positive attitude and hope for good things to happen. And my life turned out to be good to me after all. I'm now a news reporter. How cool is that?"

"I'm a strong believer of 'Everything happens for a reason.'" she continued. "You _do_ have a purpose. You have martial arts skills for a good reason. And that's protecting people. How do you feel when you stop a gang of thugs from attacking someone and saving their life?" "Good." said Raphael. "Also, every punk you fight goes home and rethinks their life. I'm sure there were a lot of criminals you fought who have changed their lives."

Raphael liked that theory. "Although my life is good, it's not perfect. There are things I hate about it. But I'm happy with the career and the friends I have." said April. "So what do you think about being yourself now?"

Throughout April's story, Raphael had second thought about hating himself. Yes, he should be positive, he should focus on good things instead of the bad and he should be happy with the things he has such as his family, friends, home and martial arts skills.

"You're right, April. I am going to be more positive and hope for good things to happen." said Raphael. "That's the spirit." said April. "And tonight is Board Game Night and Donatello wants to play Clue." "_Again?_ He always wins." said Raphael. "I know. But great game." said April. So, Raphael and April left the roof and went back to sewers. From that night on, Raphael learnt to like himself and think positively about life. He has never been better.

THE END


End file.
